Post by Lady Aislin of Eohmark on Nov 6, 2009 3:22:17 GMT -5
The Beginning
Ingredients to remember:
Dilla (Dill)- Leaves are very thin, almost like lines and the smell is a bit potent.
I have found that a very good use for it is to get rid of hiccups when mixed into a drink, but very bitter. The people of Scotland believe it has magical powers to scare away witches or protect them from spells. Some women, I have seen use the leaves and stems in weavings as a charm of protection.
Fennel- Almost root like and found in the ground.
I have found that this root, if taken by the mouth and chewed, can help stop the fever of a snake bite, pain in the mouth and colic. I am still finding other uses for it when someone is in need of healing, but thus far those are the only illnesses I have tried using it to help heal. It has also seemed to help many stables with their fly problems. The scent must bother the flies.
Marjoram- Leaves are flat, soft to the touch and stems normally have white and small flowers coming from the top.
I have found that if the leaves are chewed, then it could heal a pain in the mouth. If swallowed, many have said that the belly pains go away and they are able to eat more. Coughing has eased with chewing on the leaves.
The Treatment of a Witch
I am so thankful that some of the people of Scotland still come to me when something ills them. I have found many new plants that can be used as medicine. Not all have done as I wanted, but those that do I will surely keep in here least I not forget.
Life, is always something that brings new adventures during the days and nights. As with everything, there are always good and evils in men and women. Scotland is stuck in their ways of superstitious fears and wiles, that it is hard to help those in need at times. It fustrates me so, but there is nay nothing I can do in order to heal as I was taught when they believe me to be a witch. I blame me mam for this. She was so superstitious that it tended to drive those about her mad. Even after living here all ma life..they still throw things at ma head.
A few days ago a man had bumped into me and nay said the words of a apology to me. As if I was nay a woman and did nay need to hear it. I lost ma temper for a moment and spoke out loud of the thoughts in ma head. I'll nay regret them, but a day afterwards the man called me a witch and threw a rock, that was nay too big at ma head. Even now I can feel the pain and throbbing. At the moment I believe I was so shocked that I picked up that very same rock and was ready to throw it back at him when he reached for the handle of his sword.
Ma father would nay have been proud of me as the rock was let go and I ran away into the woods. Coward is what he would have said. I'll say aye and agree with him on that. Ma father was born of this land, ma mother was nay. If only I had been born looking more like him, perhaps I would be treated differently. The gods have oddly enough seen fit that I look like ma mam and nay only in being female but almost as if she had spit me from her own mouth like some witch creating a other. I find it selfish at times that they have left, moving to the sky or hell and leaving me behind to clean up all the supertitious mess they left behind. I am glad that the gods saw fit to give me ma own mind...or least it would all be gone..
The Means of Change
Once more it is a never ending circle. Ma dad would have been proud of me and I like to think that I am finally taking the steps I need to be who I should be. After 28 passing years...I am going to stop being so naive and make sure I understand everything I need to. I do nay plan to stay in Scotland forever, there are too many places with different ways of medicine and healing ways, to be ignored. I know that...I can nay learn them from standing still in one place...I have to move to them and learn them from the people that created those ways.
That was the biggest reason why I went to them. They were hungry for blood and gore in battle because that is what they were trained for and it was home to them in a way. They could take great pain without flinching so that they could fight the battles for a long period of time. It is a admirable and if nay for ma dad teaching me to respect men like them..I might nay have been so keen on being their friend as fast as I was. I very well may have been afraid of them. The brothers of scotland.
I am nay so young to think the world is a friendly place. Ma mam traveled here from a distance and during her travels she saw many things that would make the tender hands cringe and want to shut themselves in their homes. Men and women, skinning each other alive, rape, torture, torment, war and of course the small cruelties of humans. She use to tell me horror stories about her travels as a younger woman. It was nay meant to scare but to prepare me for what lay ahead. I have remained in Scotland for a long enough time and have nay been courted and am nay sure if this ever truly felt like home. Some have treated me kindly and others have made sure to show that I am unwanted even if silently. It has only helped me to understand that it is time to do as I see fit and learn more.
They have agreed to help me learn to defend myself, fight and take great amounts of pain. I do nay expect them to be soft and their warnings were enough to tell me that they have the same idea on how things may be. I figure that if I find myself in the middle of a war or cruelty, then I can fight and defend myself. I will show those who try to take me that I will nay go silently into the night. I will nay leave their skin unmarked and their limbs without memories of me. I will nay be a easy prey to the lions, bears and wolves of the world. If...after all my fighting and struggles have lead to my capture, I will nay give them the pleasure of ma voice lifting high towards the sky when pain laces into my limbs. I will nay call for a god that they have nay memory of. I will only give them silence if I can...nothing more..if I am lucky..nay even ma water will go to them. I only hope I can be strong in ma training and live through it. I would rather have them scar ma flesh then a stranger. The memory of a friend is better than that of a enemy. In ma teaching, I hope it will show me to fear nothing, for I do not want a other to kill me from the inside out.
It brings me to ma new friends. Serena, Victoria, Eirian, Einar and Agravaine. I find myself confused as to how much I should let ma'self get close. I think ma greatest worry is that they will be friends now and foes later at the turn of a hat. It is just enough to let me get close and just enough to pull me away. It matters nay how much I can be a part of their group...I will always be different and from what it seems..that is nay so bad. I wonder at times if they notice how silent I become as I listen to their banter back and forth and how I take in details on their dress and how they appear? Time will be ma friend and ally. It always has been.
The Training of Embodyment
Two weeks into the training and already I feel a change. One in ma'self and those around me. For the better, I hope. The brothers give what they promised. It has started with only minor strength test to ma'self and between them. Their ways are strange, but who am I to judge two men who have swore to help me as much as they could? They are not gentle on me, but have held back on cruelty. I know they are dreading when things will get more intense, but they are nay alone in that.
My skin has suffered only minor injuries and it is just the beginning. So far..my spirit clings to me well, but will it fly away one day and leave me a empty shell? I think nay..but one can never tell can they? Today was tiresome for me. A stick and dog will never be looked at the same again. It was what Rikmore said I looked like as his brother flung me about by a stick. A strength test. Mordakin held onto a thick stick that looked to surely not break by ma hands and held onto it firmly as I tried to pull it away. Needless to say...I never budged it from his large grip. Instead, he moved it high, making me cling to it for dear life as he lifted us both above his head and yanked the stick back and forth hard. I clung, but ma small body and hands could not stay for long before I had lost ma grip and tumbled along the grass roughly. My teeth had caught ma lower lip and sliced it open. I tried four more times before I was too tired to try anymore. On the bright side of the sky, I have slept very well these past few weeks.
The journal that Serena gave me, one that belong to her ma has kept me company quite a bit these past few nights. I read over it for hours before falling asleep with it in ma hands or on ma breast. I can fear I can not find the words to tell Serena how grateful I am for her gift and her trust. I have not let her down and do not intent to. The journal is hidden away when it is not in ma hands, just as I promised.
I gave her and Agravaine a gift for their wedding in return. I figure that showing her was better then speaking words. Red raspberry leaves in the form of a tea. It has shown great potential in making women more fertile. I am waiting simply to see the signs that it has worked well in her body and perhaps produced a child for the two wonderful people.
Einar and I spoke nay too long ago, about travels and briefly on his da. It is charming to see that he adored his da for nay many men do in this time and age. He says that he will stay here as long as he is needed and I can nay help but wonder how long that will be. I enjoy our conversations, for he is nay what people think. He has a mind that is well formed past the fights and the rumors.
Einar has promised to tell me tales of his adventures...I look forward to them more then I would have thought.
A generous break was given to me tonight. The brothers were looking forward to a drunken night because there is talk of war coming. I am nay sure how true that is, but I can understand the need to live life to the fullest while one can. It was nice to see the people there. Eirian with her quips and lady like words always tends to make me smile now a days. She is so nice and lovely that it is hard to be worried with such a soul about. Victoria and Einar have seemed to grow closer over night and Serena and Agravaine have never seemed more so in love with each other. There were new faces there and sadly I was nay able to greet them.
Agravaine and Einar did what the brothers call " fight for a right..". From ma understanding, it is when two males are both dominate and have the need to prove a point or keep themselves at a level and lessen the violence. Funny thing is..that the violence is apart of it with sparing and jousting. The ladies moved outside to watch them and all seemed to have the same idea. Men in their glory. Eirian made a comment to Serena about the good side of the fighting being the show of muscles and strength. It was nay hard to see their delight over seeing strength and roughness.
In that moment..I realized that I did nay think like a normal woman. I looked at the men and saw nothing of what they were seeing. I did nay feel the least bit of a swoon at their bodies and how they moved them. I have seen Einar without his shirt many times and we have even been alone most of those times, but I have never thought of Einar in that way. He is ma friend..as is Agravaine...that is all I see when I look at them and their bodies. Even with the brothers, who are handsome in their own right and tend to have most women throwing themselves at them...I feel nothing. No swooning of any kind to their abilities, touches or looks. Am I so closed off to love, that ma sight has become blind to things that could lead to it? Could I be cursed more then I had thought? I could understand those who are friends, but I have looked to strangers and felt the same thing. Not even a stranger that most would find overly handsome and would swoon to have gotten ma attention. Is it fate...telling me that it is nay ma time for I have much to do..
Meeting Destiny
French Healing Tea
1 cup boiling water
1/2 teasgirl-thingy dried thyme (1 teasgirl-thingy fresh)
1. Place thyme in cup and cover with boiling water. Cover and allow to steep for 10 minutes.
2. Strain and serve, with honey and/or lemon.
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It has been some time since I last picked up this book and wrote down things among it's silent pages, but I think it has awaited my words long enough.
The Kingdom is alive with the buzz of babies and war. War, being a rumor of course while the babies are said to be a blessing. Months ago, I had delivered two healthy babies with the assistance of Sir Alazer and lady Victoria and thankfully it went well. Cassandra, the queen from a other land, has brought into the world two beautiful newborns. One male, One female. Both highly healthy and full of life. I have checked on them when I could, to make sure they are well enough for the world and they seem to be doing fine. I have not seen babies so close before, well close enough to watch them grow so fast throughout only months of life. I have nay held them yet, I just do nay feel the want to as others do. Children may nay be in my future for life never works out as one plans and I have nay plans at current.
News of Serena being with child is now out into the open and all those about her wait for her belly to grow with her and Agravaine's future. I must say that I find myself looking forward to such a event, more so when Serena talks of me being her midwife and helping her bring the children into the world. I have found the perfect way to describe my thoughts on the lady. She is the flame to my moth..I am the moth to her flame. I can not explain our connection any better then that truthfully.
Over the past few months, I have found myself changing. Not overly so, but where I had once faked emotions..some of them seem to linger longer then normal. I'll nay lie and say it does not feel odd, because I have only felt the baser ones for so long, a smile, a nice though but nothing that lingers on in my mind. Many I had faked in order to fit in save for those with the people who seem to enjoy my company. Could it be that I am starting to truly understand the enjoyment of their's as well? I feel lost and confused, more so with Sir Eamonn of Sevenwaters. If I could truly understand what it is between us..then I could put it into words, but words fail me as does the mind. The feelings are a bit uncomfortable and make me feel, I do nay know how to put into words so I shall not try for I have need to keep my sanity on this matter. Slow approach and learning each other's seem wise, one can only hope that we can forgive each other for the mistakes we may make along the way.
My mothers maid has passed on and I feel nothing on the matter. She was a women who, had much respect and I fel I could nay do her justice while she did much for me.
Truth Within the Darkness
Darkness-absence of light or illumination
It was here that he confessed to me. Confessions of fears, worries and a curse that no others were ever meant to hear. I could not see him in the darkness, but I could feel him, both with the sense of touch and the sense of something that has no name. It was here, that he became my silence, my gift from the sea and I became his healer of the soul. One can never truly understand what the word humanity means, until you see it at it's most broken time. I have never seen such a sight until the night of total darkness and even then he was able to shield himself from my eyes. I have been a healer for more years then I can remember, but never have I felt so needed and strong as I did that night in the darkness while I held him and he clung to me as if only I could save him. Feelings are hard to express and even harder to understand, but with him, they seem right and as if they were always there. Waiting for the one who would truly deserve them and set them free.
Promise- a verbal commitment by one person to another agreeing to do (or not to do) something in the future.
I have never promised myself anything in life, for I always knew that it was uncertain and that anything could happen. Truly, I never thought myself to feel such things as love, hate, compassion or even grief. Why was I so quick to make such a promise to him as I did? There are many reasons why, some more then others. I promised to be there for him always and never to stand in his way when the time came for duty to take hold of him once more. I will share his darkest moments and keep them private between us, while also taking his brightest ones and making them illuminate so bright that the darkest ones would run in fear. I take him as he is, never wanting to change him for that will be his choice alone. I care for him, no matter what others may think or how he may appear, for I saw the true him. One that no one save for his loving mother has seen in his lifetime. A man is still a man even if they break down. He spoke of being a failure and being weak, but I told him that everyone has a weak moment, even his father would have cried in his mother's arms when they were alone in their bed. He cried out that he was a fool, and I told him he could never have known, much as no one would ever know of the night we spent in the darkness.
Love- a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; any person of warm affection or devotion; have a great affection or liking for; a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
A word so unknown to us and something neither of us have felt from anyone save for our parents. Our parent's love is nay what we share together, but the love of a man and a woman. It leaves me breathless, confused, wanting things I can nay speak of, reaching for more emotions then my mind can give me at once and yet I feel at home and safe. I have never felt such strong and caring arms, never felt such warmth in words and a smile. To say it was nay even the least bit scary would be a lie, but to say I would run from it and leave it behind would be a even greater one. I want it, even when I do nay understand it fully. I do nay want it with anyone, only my silence, my Eamonn.
Time- an indefinite period
We have enough time to make our mistakes and learn from them. He has told me that he wants to stay, wants to feel it and share it and I can do no more then to agree with him. I have asked others that I know have or are experiencing such feelings and the answers are always the same. Time and patience I have much of..and I would gladly use the rest that I have on earth to understand the feelings between myself and Eamonn. We shall put each other to the test and give each other something we have never known. I am new when it comes to such feelings, but so is he and we do nay pretend otherwise. My confession lays within my heart and the answer is simple, love has been found. It is nay perfect to anyone save ourselves, nor complete in it's feeling, but it is there and could grow with the help of myself and Eamonn.
A Letter to the Womb
Our Child,
Tonight, I write you this letter. The silence of our home, has taken over my mind once more and I do nay wish to give in to it one more night. I have, so many things to say and yet, I do nay know how to place them. I know that if I do nay write this now, then I shall forget. Perhaps nay, but best to get the words out while I can and am nay so over come with grief.
Yer father lays still in the bed that we share. His mind is elsewhere, nay here in the land of the living, nor gone and in the land of the dead. Three days ago, we had come to the second time of death hovering over our heads. Many times, it has brushed against us, touched us, felt us, but this be the second time it has stayed and lingered and I am nay sure if yer father will survive. For the first time in my life, I was afraid and still am of loosing yer father. Death was so close to taking not only him, but some of our friends. All...have survived so far, but now a illness from the cold tries to beat him down. Yer father is a strong man. Stronger then any man I know, because he is my husband. I know what others do nay. He fights for us and the chance to see ye born from my womb.
If he does nay make it and slips away into the darkness of death, I will still wait for ye alone. I, will nay give ye up and will cling to ye for ye will be the only thing I will have left of a man that has given me so much.
There are many things I wish to say to ye and I shall start now. Ye were made from love, respect and free will. There were no arrangements, no misunderstandings on what we did and no regrets. On the night ye were created, we nearly lost our lives for the first time from others and their cruel manners. We survived and they did not. When we came back to my small hut, we knew then that we loved each other, for a brush of death tends to make people stronger and closer; it also showed yer father fear once more when my life was in another's hands. Sadly, yer father and I were nay married in the eyes of others, but perhaps somewhere deep inside, we believed we were married in each others.
Yer father and I have shared a bed and home since that night and almost a month later, we were married in the eyes of others. Married for love, though we knew ye had already been created. When I first notice ye were in the making, I was scared. Yer father was nay. The moment that my words fell from my lips about ye, he smiled wide, showing teeth and how handsome he is with such a expression. He knelt down in front of me and kissed my flat stomach that ye hid behind. I can nay express how important and special ye are to yer Da and me, more so ye Da, because he never thought he would get the chance to have a child, yet here ye are, stirring in my womb.
Since that time, we have been doing all we can to keep ye and myself safe. It is nay always easy in these times, for life is what others call rough while we call it normal. We are nay noble, but commoners. Rest asure, we shall give ye everything ye will need. Ye are quickly becoming our hearts and we know ye will fill them well.
The one ye lay within & yer Da's Heart
Aislin